Jaq D. Hawkins is a
pseudonym – and a brilliant one, so I am not going to tell you her real name,
though you can in fact find it on her website: http://www.jaqdhawkins.co.uk/
I have been reading her
pagan books (chaos magic primers, nature spirit primers, and some feminist
work) for years, and always loved her to the point style and no nonsense
delivery. There was also something
quietly glamorous about her writing, and I was never quite sure what it
was. She also had really well illustrated
books, a bit of a rarity in this
niche. When I found her on Facebook
(another hooray for social networking sites) and she replied to my ardent and
probably annoying fan mail with calmness, kindness and not a tincy bit of self
importance, I thought – blimey, she’s a really nice person too. She’s still chatting to me now, on and off, years later. Even though she’s really
busy now, having branched out from her original books to move on to fantasy fiction (also cracking good reads),
and then to guerrilla filmmaking (filled with fascinated envy!). I’ve never found her to be anything less than
immensely kind, tolerant yet plain spoken at the same time, and really
helpful. It’s brilliant when an author
turns out to be as nice a person as you hoped they’d be (makes you feel like you could go further than you thought to
– the gap is not so great!).
So I asked her to contribute
to this Guest Series; and this is the Penultimate Entry, we’re nearly done
now! And she said yes even though she
was flitting about the country at the time, doing reshoots and editing (which
she is addicted to and does most of herself for her films) – and making
constant cake for her crew and cast (yep, also kitchen goddess). *And* she got this piece to me in a couple of
days flat…whereas I then got caught up with personal life crises and am now
posting it up 2 weeks later than promised….arggghhh…
Without any further ado –
one of my favourite magickal authors, fiction authors and now a film maker too…be inspired!
***
Doing the Impossible
"Why, sometimes I've
believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
~ Lewis Carroll
"It’s quite fun to
do the impossible."
~ Walt Disney
"Think big and don’t
listen to people who tell you it can’t be done. Life’s too short to think
small."
~ Tim Ferriss
I've always been a writer.
Someday, when I've accomplished all I need to in filmmaking and retired from
that, I'll still be a writer. Until then, I'm doomed to live a double life,
dividing my time between writing, which is life and breath to me, and
accomplishing the impossible within filmmaking, which is addictive once you get
far enough along the path.
I first became a published
writer in the 1990's, back when an author still needed a publisher before the
digital age took over. I even developed a reputation within my field, which was
writing books for what used to be called the Astrology and occult section of
the book store but is more recently known as Mind, Body, Spirit. I wrote about
magic and nature spirits, subjects that have always played a part in my life
and continue to be sufficiently of interest that I'm planning to write several
new books in this category in the near future.
In 2005 my first fiction
novel was published. I had written fiction in my younger life, but this was the
first time I had completed a novel. More would follow, but not before the demon
of filmmaking arose to take over my life.
It's no doubt very common
for fiction writers to see a possible movie in their novels. In the case of Dance
of the Goblins, the story itself came to me in scenes that I found very
visual and the idea of a film had taken hold by chapter four. I finished the
novel with the idea in mind that my next task, even before the first of the two
sequels was begun, would be to try my hand at writing a screenplay for the
story.
The irony is that I spent my
teenage years in Los Angeles,
going to school with aspiring artists of all sorts and especially filmmakers,
but never had any interest in stepping into that world myself. I saw the movie
industry as cold and cutthroat, difficult to breach, and pretty much the
preserve of a closed society of people who knew each other by reputation if not
from working together sometime in history. Some of these people were parents of
my school friends. The contacts were there, but the business side of filmmaking
still looked unattractive to me.
When I wrote the screenplay
for Dance of the Goblins, my plan was to sell it to someone in the
filmmaking industry. That was to be the end of my involvement. I could carry on
with writing the sequels and any other books that I was inspired to write
forever more. However, in the course of researching who I should approach to
sell the screenplay, various friends with filmmaking connections suggested I read
The Guerrilla Filmmaker's Handbook. That was my doom. I got hold of a
copy at my local library and read with fascination as the germ of an impossible
idea began to take hold.
I rang one of my friends who
had gone to film school and told him what I had been thinking; that I could
potentially make the film myself. To my surprise, he didn't tell me I was
crazy. He even encouraged the idea. From that point I began reading filmmaking
books. My library was well stocked with some of the best research material that
can be found on the subject. As I learned more and more about what was involved
in the process, the impossible began to look doable.
The sticking point of course
was that filmmaking costs money. Usually lots of money. I've been a
non-materialist all my life and there was never any doubt that this would be
the most difficult aspect of the process for me. How was I supposed to approach
potential investors and ask for large amounts of money to do something that I
had no experience doing? I had by then surrounded myself with more experienced
people. Other producers, directors, crew people; everyone I would need to make
a movie with experience behind it. Not big names, but people who made their
living in the industry.
I had discovered independent
filmmaking, which by definition is any filmmaking that occurs outside of the Hollywood studios (or the BBC). Someone suggested that I
should try going on the television reality programme called Dragon's Den
to ask for investment. It was yet another crazy idea and unlikely to result in
an offer, but it would bring attention to the project which for many businesses
had resulted in private offers. While I didn't get a financial offer, I did get
an amazing amount of free publicity and a substantially larger circle of support
from within the industry.
There were a few detractors
who missed the point of the exercise and expressed that they thought they would
have had a better chance of getting the investment if they had thought of the
idea first, but there were far more who wanted a piece of the project. All I
can say to the former is guys, who would invest in a film without at least
having a look at the script? The real benefit of allowing a couple of
ill-mannered nouveau riche cretins to tear into me on
national television is yet to come.
The
following summer, I began production on the first of two no-budget B-movies
that would define my future in filmmaking. I can't honestly say that it was all
planned, but it did seem to fall into place as if it all came out of a grande
design. While most people make a short for their first film using friends or
classmates as actors, usually without a decent script, I went almost straight
into doing a feature film There was one 'trailer shoot' that taught me much
about dealing with volunteers and amateurs, myself included. I had never
aspired to be a director, but one of the most important lessons of that shoot
was that I would have to take control of the set and the crew. It was time to
rise to the occasion.
By the
end of the summer, I had a film 'in the can'. More importantly, Graveyard Shift was a good film. Despite amateur
mistakes and inexperienced production crew, I had something in my hands with a
good story and some really exceptional acting by the main roles at least, as I
had recruited from local actors who were constantly honing their craft in local
productions. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky with recruiting editors and a
series of let downs would delay the release of the finished film. In the
meantime, the filmmaking bug had smitten me beyond hope and I produced a second
film, Old Blood. This one took two summers to
complete, during which I continued to try to find a reliable editor. Not being
one to wait for fortune to come to me, I also studied the art of film editing.
That actually dated back to the trailer shoot, when the editor of that project
left a copy of an old version of an editing programme on my computer when he
had something to demonstrate to me.
I
found effects fascinating and as an old Photoshop addict, I naturally began to
work out some of the problems myself. Eventually, I accepted that I was going
to end up editing these projects myself and bought a new version of the editing
programme, getting a good price because my work with student crew had qualified
me for a student/teacher price.
Despite
having to constantly re-write parts of Old Blood
as actors moved in and out of the area over two years of shooting, I now have
two good B-movies in my hands and work continues on them constantly, although
my writing also continues and I balance between the two. The summer of 2013 has
been spent getting ADR (Voice recording) of the actors for Old Blood while
working on the visual effects continues in between. Both films will be ready to
release within a year or so.
And
they will be seen and scrutinised closely, because everyone has heard of the
crazy goblin lady on Dragon's
Den. They
still show my episode on rerun. For most independent filmmakers, getting anyone
in the industry to look at their film is a real challenge, if not impossible.
First there was Dance of the
Goblins, now Demoniac Dance! Power of the Dance coming soon. Keep up to date
with the Goblin Series at https://www.facebook.com/
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