Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Of Much Wiffling And Signifying Very Little Other Than Thinking Aloud



Ah, 2014.  And I greet it as tired, bleary eyed and secretly hopeful as any other year.  I say secretly because I only just realised I felt a bit hopeful; and it flies in the face of a few actual developments in life.  On the other hand, things being about 60% what you choose to think about them/ focus on/ make of them…it could all be way worse, and therefore I shall right this instant say that so far, all goeth, y’know, ok-ish…(and that’s as much deviation to positive thought from actual reality I will give you!).

The Prince has moved out into his sparkly new flat near his work.  My book room is denuded of other people’s bags of alien possessions.  He also did me the grand favour of borrowing a large beanbag Stanley bought me for Christmas the year before, but which turned out to have nowhere to live in the entire house, so ended up sitting there in a massive box on the side of my book room, irritating me beyond patience with the amount of space its taking up.  Now, if I get my arse to hoovering, I can do yoga on the floor again.  Just as Stanley and I thought we could start wandering about naked again, groping on the sofa in small snatched moments or generally picking our noses wherever, it seems the house may not be empty of guest for long.  Not 24 hours after The Prince had left the building, we had a distress call from Another.  We'll see what happens.

Not so small Fluffhead is happy to be back at nursery – he didn’t really get the concept of Christmas holiday; I think he simply thought we were meanly withholding his friends from him for no apparent reason, and only presents distracted him from this.  But now he comes home daily covered with Pritt stick and glitter paint again, and is very happy.  (I wonder how long it will take him to get his next dripping 10 week cold…?!)  He also accrued 3 new words in 3 days flat: more, four and door.  Which is definitely a good start to the year for him.  He'll be four at the end of the month, too.

In a return to routine, to a degree, Time Traveller and I yesterday haunted Coffeehouse.  I waffled on something chronic about my problems and asked her opinion, and she listened with all the intensity and kind wisdom I generally associate with her, before pronouncing: ‘that’s a tough one, conflicted.’  We sat thoughtfully for a moment in silence, before I waffled on again.  She always thinks she’s the waffler, hogging the conversation; but its not so.  I don’t think either of us does.  We both don’t seem to mind listening, and we’re both nosy, as writerly types are.  It occurs to me I could do such a good character study and story from things going on right now around me – which I don’t mean to be vague about, here…but that’s the point:   I’m not one of those writers (yet, anyway) who will steal wholesale their friends and family and stuff them in a story and stick it right out there, whilst said people are still going through all their most interesting trauma that I have nosed out of them while I counsel them.  This may make me a failed writer; possibly it makes me an ok human being?!  It’s annoying though, I have at least 2 magnificently rounded characters (that is to say: real people I have unintentionally studied in depth; and I don’t want to disguise or fictionalise them so I can use them now, I sort of want to leave them as they are, they are just wondrous fascinating already, as people and characters).  Time Traveller is doing way better than me with her writing, at which I am most pleased and dead envious – but mostly pleased (which is uncharacteristically charitable of me, I note), as she is such a good writer I wouldn’t want anything to interfere with her flow.

I look out the window at the garden, battered and waterlogged from days on and off of rain and wind, and I wonder if the storm of 2013 is slowing and calming, or if this is just a lull.  Like I said, I am starting to get a slight feeling of spaciousness, extremely cautious optimism.  I’m starting to engage with the feel of the season.  I saw a small fox in the garden this morning; another yesterday morning, running fast away from me, all dark orange and paddy feet and scared eyes.  I really like foxes (despite the gross poo they keep kindly leaving me in the garden – I’m always having to run about and do Poo Search before Fluffhead can barrel out and charge over the grass, as there’s always some and I don’t want him stepping in it and slipping and bringing it back in the house).

I still have a cough from a cold I got at the end of November.  Which is most irritating.  It comes and goes.  Days it’s gone, almost a week sometimes, and I imagine that’s that and I’m better, then it tickles and there’s chestiness again and IRRITATION, its back.  In this spirit, I give you this cough syrup remedy.  It definitely does quell the tickling (for a short time), and annoyingly tastes so nice you may want to keep drinking it for pleasure, which means there won’t be much left …if you don’t, and just take a couple of teaspoons here and there, it’ll last a week in the fridge.  I didn’t invent this one, Kate West did, see footnote for reference:

HOME MADE COUGH SYRUP:

  • Take the juice of 1 orange and 2 lemons,
  • 2 tablespoons of glycerine (from your chemist),
  • 2 tablespoons of honey (locally made is best),
  • ½ a crushed cinnamon stick,
  • 6 cloves,
  • a large pinch of grated nutmeg,
  • and ½ a teaspoon of grated ginger. 
  • Heat gently for 10-20 minutes, stirring all the time.  Do not allow to boil. 
  • Strain and place in a clean jar to cool. 
  • Children as young as 5 can have this – but their dose should be diluted with 3 times as much water[1].

I also made up some seasonal room and body mist, and some bath salts.  I like to feel like I smell like the parts of the natural world I like (for instance, no plans to smell like seasonal fox poo anytime soon) – since I spend so much time indoors in front of screens or just generally pacing up and down while Fluffhead does stuff; this makes me feel more connected to the larger blowier colder wetter (currently) outside world.  In a partial and romanticised way of course (but that’s all focus is: editing, picking what you choose to look at and using it to make you feel good/ better/ however.  That thought apropos of nothing.)

I was wondering if I should do a sort of look ahead thing, about what sort of posts I plan to do this year.  Then I realized that whilst I have a tiny tiny cautious feeling of possibility, I’m still pretty directionless, and feeling my way.  All I can actually promise, is a continuation of whatever series I’m already doing.  So there’ll be more reviews of Dr Who books (which will incite bored weeping and happy cheers from various people I know, respectively).  Probably more herbs posts.  Probably reviews of other books and TV or film I’m watching, specially if I get addicted to something.  There’ll likely be some posts about art or writers, I’m planning to get out more and go to some exhibitions and bring you back my one sided impressions.  There’ll be some guest posts, and maybe another Season of Love, we’ll see.  I realize I haven’t done a Things That Irritate Me post for almost a year.  Which is amusing, as plenty of things have annoyed the hell out of me – but whilst stress makes me shouty and a bit argumentative, I haven’t actually felt like laying out my precise thought case for any of these things.  Maybe I will this year; maybe I won’t.  Maybe I’ll start a Things That Give Me Joy series too – there’s definitely plenty of those, also.  Other than that…its whatever takes my fancy and engages my brain…and failing that, posts like this, Of Much Wiffling And Signifying Very Little Other Than Thinking Aloud In A Disorganised Way. 

Happy New Year.  Be well, and May The Force Be With You.


[1] The Real Witches Year, by Kate West (Minnesota: Llewellyn, 2008), p.4.  This is the second imprint of her book; despite the American publisher, the first imprint was an English publisher over here, and all her recipes etc are given in English measurements as she’s English.

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