I have been repeatedly asked recently, why there have been no more posts in the Things That Annoy Me series. Who would’ve thought it would go down so well?! The answer is, that LOADS of things continue to annoy me, but not sufficiently to write a whole post about.
But just so you know I am genuinely as tetchy as ever – here is a quick list, written in about 10 minutes, of just a small slew of Things That Annoy Me (but not enough to do a post about):
Pet Hates and Irritations:
Ø People repeatedly talking to me when they see if I have headphones on and am trying to work
Ø People waking me up when I am sleeping or trying to sleep
Ø People asking my advice and then totally ignoring anything I have said (I don’t mean they have to take it, just don’t ask if you aren’t even going to listen)
Ø People standing about in a vaguely hover-y way in my line of vision when I’m trying to concentrate (pacing doesn’t bother me)
Ø Things getting in my line of direct sight when I’m trying to do something (for some reason this happens a lot – like Fluffhead getting in the way of me with his head when I’m trying to help him on with his socks…)
Ø People interrupting me; or talking over me
Ø People who hate being interrupted then interrupt me constantly
Ø Inconsiderate people who think they are considerate!
Ø People correcting my grammar when I play with grammar on purpose
Ø People being late and not caring they have wasted my time (its ok if they say sorry)
Ø People not doing things when they say they will, or at least in a timely way
Ø Bullying – and there’s more of it about as a grown up than you’d think
Ø People talking down to other people because they think they are better because of breeding or money (Dragons Den)
Ø People being pompous or condescending
Ø Girls who totter in high heels and can’t wear them properly
Ø Girls who have over inflated gestures – throwing their hair about a lot, emphasizing their beauty; posing off in any way
Ø Girls who wear designer clothes and try and act like the label doesn’t really matter, it actually is made by a better class of Chinese sweat shop worker and they are superior for selecting this product of better quality
Ø People who actually admit to thinking designer labels are better than regular clothes
Ø People who say things like: ‘I’m incredibly intuitive’, ‘I’m completely in touch with my feelings, I’m SO self-aware’, ‘I’m a really positive/upbeat/honest person’ – the making of very obvious self judgements that need to be made by other people, they can’t just be declared – you can only say, ‘I try to be…whatever’ if you are being truly honest – don’t tell other people how you are and try to brainwash them as if they are stupid, by repeating these statements
Ø People thinking because they are clever they are better than others – when they may not be as worthy as people
Ø Judging people on academic qualifications as if life meant nothing
Ø Judging others as if you have done no wrong yourself
Ø Judging others on their music tastes alone
Ø Judging people by what they read alone (in terms of books…er, must admit to judging people on reading things like ‘Hello!’ or ‘OK!’ all the time…who cares about these celebrities?!!!)
Ø Bosses who shout at underlings because they have no social skills and think they are better
Ø People who laugh at me for crying at films or books
Ø People who get an idea stuck in their head then rant at me about it regularly; incapable of listening, yet thinking they are involved in a ‘conversation’ with me (Fry knows who I'm talking about)
Ø People who think the earth is theirs and they can abuse it how they want
Ø People who think their god is the only one, they are special, chosen - and they must tell you about it and tell you you are damned if you don't agree with them
Ø Me when I get stuck in a bad, sad or isolated mood – how stupid am I at these moments
Ø Not understanding something when someone is explaining it to me quite nicely
Ø Feeling stupid or slow
Ø Seeing signs of competitiveness in myself – or one upmanship
Ø Not knowing how to deal with anger or depression in myself
Ø People with loud annoying coughs/ laughs
Ø People who keep snoring even when I turn them over onto their sides!
Ø Treating celebrities as gods
Ø Endless copying and flattery, mimicry of others
Ø Being on hold with automated dialling systems
Ø The annoying hold music on automated dialling systems
Ø Being on hold for more than 2 or 3 minutes, and being charged for it, getting nowhere
Ø I have listed stuff on Amazon for years and just the other day they decided to institute a policy of ‘restricted listings’, things they think may get counterfeited, especially DVDs. I accidentally tried to list one of these the other day – they keep the list secret so you never know when you’ll be stopped from listing something. I complained that I had many years of being a seller and impeccable 100% ratings, how do I get on the approved seller list? They reply that I can’t. I reply that this is shoddy, and some of the companies they are allowing to list these restricted items have only 80 or 90% ratings…They continue to fob me off and in a very high handed manner: “Thank you for contacting us today. As has been explained previously, you do not currently qualify to sell certain restricted DVDs and we are unable to provide any further information as to why. Amazon has set this policy in place to prevent counterfeit DVDs being sold on their website; however, this is not meant to be taken as an accusation that you are attempting to list a counterfeit item. We are not adding to the list of eligible sellers. We will inform you if this changes in the future.” GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! I lose my cool and send rather spluttery over exclamation marked complaints and demands to speak to someone’s supervisor. The saga continues. Now – that ALMOST annoyed me enough for a post, but you must agree it’s very boring indeed, so I’ll leave it here on the list!
Ø Fans of brilliant programmes like Star Trek or Dr Who (the old one not the new poo – apologies, lovers of the new poo, only my opinion), who actually, when you speak to them turn out to be insanely psychotic lunatics. I find that not only annoying, but very weird – a lot of scifi is about world’s built on reason and being more balanced and advanced…and their greatest fans are…often mad and bad and not very advanced at all. As the Americans will say: Go figure.
Ø People who have masses of keys on their keyrings – and only ever seem to use one key; and they hold the keyrings and clink them a lot, as if to say, ‘oooo, look at my many keys’…why???
Ø People who don’t understand that Stewart Lee is incredibly excellent and very funny (and before you say it, I also like Michael McIntyre and Lee Mack and Frankie Boyle – and lots of other comedians often placed in direct opposition to Lee by the press; not to mention they all mock each other something chronic – I could never be a comedian, my skin is far too thin…I clearly have no convictions…)
Ø Trying to make a simple point and finding I have unforgiveably waffled and tangented and over explained it
Ø Not seeing a fox in the garden for more than 2 days
Ø The neighbours our house is attached to – god they’re annoying; always having parties till 4 in the morning where it sounds like they are unwrapping lots of surprise presents constantly: much loud and sudden ‘whooooaaaaaaaa’s…what ARE they doing??!
Ø Finding that conversely, I have no parties let alone naughty late ones, and that I sit about curtain twitching and probably being a bit jealous of the neighbours (after all, I find it very strange that such annoying people have so many friends…)
Ø Having lots of exercise videos and feeling absolutely no desire to do them – so they sit there, mocking me with their pristine unwrappedness (while I eat chocolate and cheese)
Ø Finding I suddenly can’t access Windows Media Player anymore, so my playlists are held hostage and I can’t get them out – I spent Hours making those lists – Stanley calls them the 7 Dwarfs: Lonely, Moody, Angry, Tripsy, Joy, Drunk and Tired…I miss them.
Ø Just getting my train of thought when I’m very tired and then the phone rings and it gets lost again
Ø Not being able to afford coffeeshop coffee everyday – I always note it’s the first thing people trim from their budgets when they are cutting back – and yet its one of my favourite things and can totally lift my mood. I don’t care that the mark up is ridiculous and the companies don’t pay their taxes properly – I love them anyway
Ø That last statement. I clearly have no convictions. Life as a Self Aware Lefty is bloody hard – you don’t get to enjoy much, there’s so much torment and exploitation going on in the world. Makes me occasionally toy with the idea of trying to be Tory (Americans: read Republican) – and then I could just cut a swathe through the world unthinkingly enjoying myself while destroying everything so there’s no planet left for our children…yup. Can’t do that. Joyless Lefty it is then. Except for exceptions like Caffe Nero and Amazon – my 2 favouritest companies in the world. Ehem. I’m not perfect.
Ø People who think WWE wrestling isn't proper wrestling therefore its rubbish. Its supposed to be Sports Entertainment, the clue is in the quite obvious title. Think circus performance; think skilled fit people throwing each other about and having silly hair (and currently, very ignorant beards) for your viewing pleasure. This list is starting to be way too enjoyable to write, so I am ceasing to be annoyed enough! That’s it for now.
Ah – put a smile on my face writing all that, it did! I’m sure I can do you some more if you still miss the full posts! Just let me know!
(Almost made my migraine not hurt, but not quite. On my precious child free day, I officially announce – I’m going back to bed.)